Frayed

What is this,
What is this,
You and me?
Is it love or longing,
Light through the darkness?
Want to be your sunshine just like before,
Afraid I’ve lost the chance
Scared to fall, scared to feel,
Scared of the things that I should trust
Don’t know how I got here
Look
At
Us
Eyes wide open,
See things that words can’t even touch.
I want you to believe that you are beautiful
Inside and out
And that you deserve the love
You feel you’ve gone without.
So maybe I failed you once before
I was trying to save you, spare you,
My pain on top of yours.

What is love anyway?
Warmth felt or given in moments of affection?
I want to trust in that reflection.
My center stays strong but my edges are frayed
In a way that can’t yet be fixed
And at the end of the day
Where does that leave us, you and me?
If we get lost in a fog so thick we can’t see?
Rambling mind, I sip ‘your’ gin
Caress my finger where your ring
Is sitting quietly looking at me.

Can I curl up in your arms and wish away all the confusion?
Even just for a moment get lost in the illusion
That life is good and love is kind
Without killing it inside my mind?
Like an ache-inducing hammer to the head
Just want to float and not feel dead..
Inside… I need you..
And i think that you need me
For more than lifting each other up.
Is the world really as bad as it seems?
I prefer the old idealist version of me
Not tainted or hurting or bitter or broken
All these words that get left unspoken
For fear of what they really mean.