by

Spring

Emerge from darkness,
Vitalize my warmth.
Everything infused with life,
Reborn into energy of a new Spring.
Yearning to be whole
Tangible, tingling creation
Hallowed pathways of energy
Inspiration for movement comes at once.
No more stagnation.
Get lost in the rhythm of Life.

Willingly push forward
Into this new ebb and flow
Lure me, entice me
Lapping waves at my toes.

Braving the unknown,
Eager for your touch.

Anchored in love
Longing for life
Reality is Us
Intimate and unwavering
Growing stronger
Holding tight
Treading tenderly.

by

A Search for Relief

Unlock that favorite door
The key was always there
Stronger than it was before.
Running through,
Chasing after the prize
In a state of near-despair
Floating somewhere beyond
Feet as light as air

Searching, panicked
Don’t like feeling this frantic.
Scan the scene
The wind is warm the grass is green.
Drawn to you, where do I go?
Time isn’t moving, things feel slow.
Look ahead and then I see,
Don’t want to take my time
My earthy eyes locked
With your blue bits of sky.

Pulled into your existence,
Feeling near delirious.
Want to go, want to run.
There was never anything mysterious
About us, about this
Bruise my lips in this kiss
Let me drown, let me fall to my knees
Make me feel, make me alive
Your breath on my skin
This is a place we’ve already been.

by

Frayed

What is this,
What is this,
You and me?
Is it love or longing,
Light through the darkness?
Want to be your sunshine just like before,
Afraid I’ve lost the chance
Scared to fall, scared to feel,
Scared of the things that I should trust
Don’t know how I got here
Look
At
Us
Eyes wide open,
See things that words can’t even touch.
I want you to believe that you are beautiful
Inside and out
And that you deserve the love
You feel you’ve gone without.
So maybe I failed you once before
I was trying to save you, spare you,
My pain on top of yours.

What is love anyway?
Warmth felt or given in moments of affection?
I want to trust in that reflection.
My center stays strong but my edges are frayed
In a way that can’t yet be fixed
And at the end of the day
Where does that leave us, you and me?
If we get lost in a fog so thick we can’t see?
Rambling mind, I sip ‘your’ gin
Caress my finger where your ring
Is sitting quietly looking at me.

Can I curl up in your arms and wish away all the confusion?
Even just for a moment get lost in the illusion
That life is good and love is kind
Without killing it inside my mind?
Like an ache-inducing hammer to the head
Just want to float and not feel dead..
Inside… I need you..
And i think that you need me
For more than lifting each other up.
Is the world really as bad as it seems?
I prefer the old idealist version of me
Not tainted or hurting or bitter or broken
All these words that get left unspoken
For fear of what they really mean.

by

Holiday Dreaming

For everything I should cherish
Through each day I find myself
Just hoping for your voice
Needing your you
To get mixed up with my me
Even for just a time.

Wait until you fall asleep
And curl up on the couch
Next to an undecorated tree
Lit up in soft white lights
And pull up my favorite blanket

And listen to your breathing
Remembering your warmth
As though I were there to feel it
The easy rise and fall
Of your chest under my arm

And drift quietly
Into a restless slumber
Lulled by the mere sound
Of your existence

by

What This Is – Part I

Brutal and honest?
Am I jealous?
I am angry.
At myself.
For wanting an easier road
For not having patience
And I feel now
Its not my place
To begrudge you
The same chance
It’s not jealousy
It’s mountains of regret
That you hear in my voice
As though you honestly think
I could sit and listen to words
That evaporate our chance
At happy ever after
Into thin air?
But maybe that’s not
What you wanted anyway.
Do you understand
Where my heart is?
I wish I knew
What you wanted
BFF forever..
But I had a little
More in mind..

It’s not jealousy.
It’s pain

And it’s not that I really think
You don’t deserve to know
It’s that I don’t think
You need to hear it….

But you know me…….

by

Truth 

Sometimes you just need
     to let go of your fear
To stop thinking
     about consequences
And follow your heart.

Reach into the universe
      for the sense of peace that comes from      
Trusting all that Is,
     all that was, and all that will be.
And know that you might not recognize
     what you see before you
Genuine truth, in the present,
    Can feel confusing.

Abandon the mental clutter
    of wondering, then fall
Invoking the energy of the ground,
    And laying your body
Naked, beneath the Sky.
by

Needy Girl

Never thought I would be here again
Every thought of you, tumbling around in my head
Edgeless thinking, since that heartfelt leap
Delving deeper into the chasms of myself
Yearning for you so badly, and trying to
Give you the words that capture this?
Immensely difficult.
Reality, undefinable.
Longing for more, always.

by

This Time of Year

This used to be the time
Of webpage countdowns
Excitedly preparing
Wrapping your gifts
And decorating “our” tree.

“Ten days until your arms
are where they should be.”

Baking and planning meals
The boys anticipating
Booking shuttle vans
Hanging mistletoe
Above the bedroom door.

“One week until my eyes
will again meet yours.”

Gingerbread houses
Camera on standby
Cleaning the house
Fresh sheets and new pillows
The wait’s almost too much

“Just four more days
until our fingertips touch.”

Flight tracker on my screen
The plane has landed
Four hours from now
Heart pounding, almost breathless
Imagining memories we’ll be creating

“Just hours until
there’ll be no more waiting.”

by

Hero

Yearning for more.
Obsess with me, in this
Uncommon longing? I am lost in
All this quiet contemplation, pondering
Reality and wondering if her world will
Eclipse my sun, and bring a longer state of
Midnight on your moon that will last, for me, all
Years to come.
Hesitation abound, amidst confusion.
Emerge with me victorious,
Resolved to hold on to each
Other?

Sigh.